Whoa-Ima-Panda!

Dear family

I know that i am not the perfect son or brother, i know I’m a disgrace to you guys. I know i am lazy i am self centered. But i am independent, you guys raised me with the fact that i need to take care of myself, i let you guys down and i make mom cry our dad even hates me he doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore. I wish i was there for ricky, having my sisters leave it doesn’t feel like home without you guys, i have bad grades i know it but leave me some slack  stop bugging me about it i get it im not that stupid to wake up to someone yelling at me about my grades. i want to say that you guys taught me its my life do whatever you want taught me that my attitude to everything is “i don’t care”. Well I’m writing this not really hoping for you gusy to read this but im just venting, i am going to be baptized like you guys said its my life, i believe in God i really do believe it or not, i will be baptized at the end of this month. You guys raised me and here i am living with parents who argue a dad who doesn’t show me his love a brother who is lazy and a little brother who is rude. i’m not saying you guys aren’t great. my brothers are amazing ricky is here to comfort me and jaytee is here to help me out here and there. i want to let you guys know that i am growing up. i have an amazing girlfriend i am trying my best in school. i write this because you guys dont let me talk you guys dont listen all you guys do is put me down and not let me have a say in it. i wish i could bring my girlfriend home to get to know you guys but you guys just make me look like a big baby in front of her. i just want to say i do love our family i dont know what happen just now im all alone..